How Social Media Pulls Us Away from Real Connections

Social media was supposed to bring us closer, yet somehow, it’s leaving us more disconnected than ever from the people who matter most. We’re spending our days caught up in the world of “likes” and digital applause, craving approval from strangers while the people who really know us—our inner circle—often get the least of our attention. It’s a strange, almost painful paradox. Why is it so tempting to seek the affection of people who barely know us, when the ones who truly care are left waiting?

The Quick Fix of the “Like”

Social media platforms give us these little hits of validation—a quick fix of dopamine every time someone clicks that “like” button or leaves a comment. It feels good, but only for a moment. Instead of feeding our need for real connection, it gives us a surface-level boost. And over time, it can reshape our self-worth, making it all about how many hearts or thumbs-up we get instead of who we actually are or what we mean to the people in our lives.

When Approval from Strangers Becomes Our Focus

Here’s where it gets tricky. The more time we spend chasing validation from the outside, the easier it becomes to lose sight of those closest to us. Without realizing it, we start putting the people who care about us—friends, family, our partners—in second place. We’re drawn to this idea of fitting in or being noticed in a wider world that often doesn’t see us for who we are. Slowly, we start to shape our values to fit into a space that favors quick likes over deep connection, the instant over the lasting.

Where Are We Putting Our Attention?

Attention is powerful—it directs our energy, our heart. Social media is designed to grab hold of it and keep it. And the longer we stay plugged in, the more it feeds off of our need to be seen and approved of. But as our focus drifts into the digital realm, we begin to overlook what’s real and lasting. We might be getting dopamine from all the clicks and notifications, but true happiness often comes from those small, everyday moments with the people we love—moments that don’t need a filter or a post.

The Courage to Just “Be”

It’s hard to resist the pull to perform, to put on a bit of a show. But there’s power in simply being ourselves, flaws and all, without constantly needing that external thumbs-up. In a world where so much is about showing off our best sides, just “being” becomes a quiet kind of strength. When we’re not chasing validation, we make room for something real—for relationships that don’t need applause, for moments that don’t need to be shared online to feel meaningful.

Getting Back to What Matters

The truth is, social media isn’t all bad—it can be a great tool when it connects us without replacing the people we hold dear. But maybe it’s time to reconsider where we’re putting our energy. Real connection happens off-screen, in conversations that don’t have a “like” button. And maybe we don’t need to chase the approval of strangers when we already have people in our lives who know and appreciate us.

So, let’s start asking ourselves: are we going to keep looking for meaning in clicks and notifications, or are we ready to put our focus back on the people who truly matter? By choosing to give our time to those who genuinely care, we can find our way back to connections that don’t just feel good for a moment—they make us feel whole.

Andreia Silva

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